Insight into my Teenaged Self

So, I’m currently in the process of moving and uprooting my life, and came across one of the things I’ve been lugging around for years that I keep forgetting about. A sort of diary. And while most of it is insecure dribble about body image and boys, there’s some pretty powerful poetry and writing in there.

One that I found incredibly insightful and profound for my then 15 year old brain:

(dated February 20, 1998):
Define Beautiful.
Is it the beauty
inside our mortal bodies,
or the outside?
We judge people
from simply seeing them
in our cruel closed minds
and we laugh at ugliness.
Yet, who is that person?
What is their life like?
We are all people
with equal beauty
some just in different places.
People who judge
just have less inner beauty.

Yep, not purging this one. I wonder what I will think of my 15-year old self another 13 years from now?

3 thoughts on “Insight into my Teenaged Self”

  1. Here is a look into my 17-year old self in 1998. Interesting – 2 girls, 2 different cities, 2 years apart: coming to terms with acceptance as perfect strangers in 1998.

    (dated winter, 1998)

    She

    See me for who I am
    Then tell me about her.
    I see you for you, as you do,
    But I look to you for her.
    I want to see what you can
    Possible see…the real me?
    Can someone have a true
    Reality that is vulnerable for
    Discovery?
    No, not she.
    I am blinding, an illusion.
    The hidden self,
    Remaining buried.
    unseen, unknown, unheard…
    Then she screams to be found,
    But I am too far deep.
    Search her soul and
    I might be.
    Me is here, but I am nowhere.
    She is not yet discovered
    But is surfacing.
    Through your invisible eyes
    She is there.
    She knows her.
    I found she.
    She is me.

    Identity crisis much?

    Happy to say that 14 years later, She, Her and I are one and the same, inside and out.

    I too, wonder where I’ll be in another 14 years…

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