I have had an amazing, real, raw and emotional past few days….which have consisted of four sequential completely honest and open conversations.
The first, I was really frightened to have with someone I find wholly intimidating, and had been putting it off for weeks. But once I had it, my heart lifted, and I was free of a lot of the burdens I had been carrying around. The second was completely surprising with a new friend – it shocked me how open this new friend was being with me, and it made me nod and go, yeah, her and I – we’re meant to be friends. We belong together. The third was with one of those people that you HAVE to be honest with – the kind that you cannot hide anything from, so unbelievably perceptive and intuitive, it’s like they read your mind..and it probably didn’t hurt I was completely naked at a spa in LA’s K-town at the time (an experience that warrants a whole new blog post on its own!). Standing in front of someone, completely stripped of literally everything, it’s almost like the honesty has nowhere to go – no collar fold to sneak into, no pocket to hide in. And the fourth. Wow, the fourth. With a dear, longtime friend, experiencing some of the same things I’m going through right now with love and marriage and all of that “adult adolescence” stuff. I wish we had been more honest with each other before….before I had moved away and put a country between us. But maybe that’s why the honesty flew out and over the state lines and provinces that separate us.
So if being honest feels so good, why is it so tough for most of us to look someone in the eye and tell them the complete and utter truth? Why do we avoid it? Why is honesty so bloody rare? Why do we sugar coat things, say things we don’t really mean and tell half truths to “appease” the other person when they’d probably be more satisfied hearing the whole truth?
I received this beautiful compliment between the second and third conversations from the wholly intimidating one that my honesty is “quite possibly, my most admirable quality.” Thank you for that, Sir – I needed to hear it. And although it was delivered in a fleeting moment, it has stuck and resonated with me.
These experiences over the past few days have solidified my beliefs that I need to be honest and open and vulnerable – I will be happier, those around me will be happier, and the world – MY world – will be a better place.
So here’s to honesty and putting ourselves out there – I feel pretty sure we’ll all be the better for it.