I’d like to think I’m unique in that I’m the first person to ever “realize” that sometimes getting lost is the best way to find your way, but I’m pretty sure I’m not. A quick google search, in fact, did confirm this to me, but I can’t seem to be able to attribute the saying to anyone in particular.
The thought first occurred to me when I strapped on my shoes to go for a run in my new city, and I realized that I really didn’t know where I was or where to go or how to get back. And it caught me a bit off guard…and I almost took my running shoes off at the realization. But then I thought, “Hey wait. Often the best way to figure out the lay of the land and how to get around is to get a bit lost.” So I went out…and ran one way down the street…and then another way…and then another…until I had systematically created a quadrant to figure out where I was.
Two and a half months into the big move, I have to admit, I still feel kinda lost. And this feeling of losing myself has completely rocked me to the core. As someone who is generally very confident in herself, makes decisions extremely easily and always has a plan of where to go and how to get there, I still feel like I never really know what street I’m walking down or where I want to end up. And the feeling is definitely disconcerting. Right now I’m drawing solace from having faith in the fact that getting lost really is the best way to find your way and that it will come. Once I’ve wandered out a bit more…made a few turns, sketched out my quadrant, and maybe even after a few really wrong turns that lead me to ugly places, I might have a better sense of where I am.
I know I’ll get there. But man, the journey without a map is really a bit scary. I know it’s an adventure and I’ll come out of it knowing exactly where I am, how I got here, and where I belong…but the process of finding the way is definitely not easy.